ran•sack [ran-sack]
verb
1. to search thoroughly or vigorously through
2. to search through every part of; examine thoroughly
Are you searching? Is there a fire inside of you that drives you deeper into life? Are you facing hard questions, and not wanting to lose yourself in the midst of living into the answers? Do you want to stop worrying about climbing ladders, and start diving into the depths of your soul?
Me too.
Searching, seeking, wrestling, questioning, doubting, fumbling, diving in deeper and deeper. I’ve spent my life on a quest, and the further I travel the more I realize there is no end point, but a constant unfolding of who I am, who I’m called to be in this world, and who I’m traveling with. As a life-long learner I continue to seek new places, new opportunities, new communities that will push my understanding of who I am and help me live into a fuller, more authentic version of myself.
I’ve spent my time searching in small towns, big cities, suburbs, retreat centers, conferences, degree programs, churches, spiritual centers, connecting with friends, neighbors, and strangers.
I have found that it is the seeking that fulfills me. The constant search for new discoveries and understandings. With each new insight I am steered in another, deeper direction.
One could say that I have ransacked my soul time and time again, examining and re-examining, sometimes meticulously, sometimes carelessly, always thoroughly.
I never quite know what I’m looking for, but I know in my bones that I must keep looking. Something lives and breathes inside of me and needs to be lived out loud. So I look, and I keep looking.