The Power of Being Heard: Why We Need Someone to Witness Our Lives
There are moments in life when our stories feel too big to carry alone. A grief too heavy, a joy too expansive, a question too complex. In those moments, we long for a witness—someone who doesn’t rush to fix or explain, but simply holds space for us to unfold.
To be heard—truly heard—is a rare and sacred gift.
We live in a world that moves quickly, where conversations are often punctuated by distractions and replies are formed before the other person has even finished speaking. But deep within us, there is a longing to be met with presence. To have someone sit with us, without judgment or hurry, and say with their listening: I see you. I hear you. Your story matters.
Anam Cara: The Soul Friend
The ancient Celtic tradition speaks of the anam cara, or soul friend—one who walks alongside another with deep love and understanding. This is not a friendship built on small talk or convenience, but a sacred companionship where the soul is truly known.
John O’Donohue, the Irish poet and theologian, described an anam cara as someone with whom you could share the hidden intimacies of your life. A person who holds your story with reverence, who reflects your truth back to you when you’ve lost sight of it.
To have such a companion is a profound gift. And yet, for many of us, finding this kind of listening presence can feel elusive.
Spiritual Direction & Therapy: Different, but Both Sacred
In our search for a compassionate witness, two forms of accompaniment often arise: spiritual direction and therapy. Both offer deep listening, yet they serve different purposes.
A therapist is trained to help navigate emotional and psychological health, often working with trauma, mental health struggles, relationships, and patterns of thought and behavior. Therapy is essential for healing wounds, developing coping strategies, and understanding our emotional landscapes.
A spiritual director, on the other hand, is less about problem-solving and more about sacred listening—helping someone discern the presence of the divine in their life. Spiritual direction is not about fixing but about holding space for someone to explore their spiritual journey, their questions, and their experiences of God (or the sacred). It is rooted in contemplation, in trusting that each person’s story is unfolding in divine time.
Both of these roles can be life-giving, and sometimes they work beautifully together. There are seasons when we need the expertise of a therapist, and other times when we long for the quiet companionship of a spiritual director who helps us listen more deeply to our own soul.
Holding Stories That Feel Too Big
Life is full of moments when we need someone to hold space for us:
When grief feels too heavy to name.
When we stand at a crossroads and don’t know the way forward.
When our spiritual journey shifts and old certainties no longer fit.
When joy surprises us, and we long for someone to celebrate alongside us.
Having a witness—a friend, a mentor, a spiritual director, a trusted therapist—reminds us that we are not alone. That our stories are worth telling. That we are seen and known.
If you are longing for this kind of presence in your life, know that it is holy work to seek it out. Whether it’s a soul friend, a spiritual director, or a therapist, inviting someone to bear witness to your life is an act of courage and trust.
And if you are someone who is often the listener—the one who holds space for others—remember that you, too, need a place to be heard. Find those who can hold your story with tenderness.
We are not meant to carry life alone. In the presence of deep listening, we come home to ourselves.