Reclaiming the Body

As someone who grew up in a protestant tradition I have a deeply engrained sense that faith requires the attention of the mind. Knowing theology, understanding biblical context, and learning the meaning behind the rituals and traditions were always important. For much of that I am grateful.

But, while I am grateful, there is also a deep sadness I’ve uncovered. It took me many years to move my religious self into a space of spiritual connection. For all of the learning and knowing there was a lack of attention on the movements of the Spirit, and permission to connect feelings with spirituality and religion to transport me to a deeper sense of the Divine. I think this is a common and unfortunate truth.

However, the deeper sadness is the way the Christian faith has become so disconnected from the body. For a religion that centers itself on the very embodiment of God it is a tragedy that the overwhelming messages for centuries have been either of dismissing the bodily experience, or shaming it.

I have spent over a decade dabbling in yoga. I would never have considered myself a yogi, as that would feel like claiming to be something I felt I certainly was not. Then two years ago I had the opportunity to take a yoga teacher training class and I dove in. I wasn’t sure where it would lead, but it had been a question in the back of my mind on and off for several years as a possibility.

The emotions I experienced in the first month of that training were wide and wild. The physical practice began releasing toxins in my body and I got pretty sick as they worked their way out of my system. I was faced with the overwhelming weight of impostor syndrome, as I was sure that this was a place I did not belong. But slowly the people in the room became brilliant rays of light and hope. As I moved into my own body for the first time ever I felt more connected to the people around me, to my family, to community, and to the Divine. I was opening in body, mind, and soul.

I was also becoming more aware of the ways in which my faith and spirituality had been disconnected from my body, and I began to grieve that loss. There are a multitude of terrible body messages that come from christianity and we have a culture that has latched on to body shame with both hands and refuses to let go.

The truth isn’t that I have come to accept my body as a perfect vessel. I’m not there, but I’m thrilled for those who have lived into that understanding of themselves. I have come to understand my body as a significant part of my spiritual experience in the world. My yoga practice helps me move more fully into myself, it grounds me, and it calls me to be present. And my yoga teaching is an attempt to provide exactly that for those who are in my care.

When I am present in my body I can go deeper in my mind and soul.